Protecting My Children. Affording Them Their Right To Anonymity

Okay, so this is probably something I should have thought about when I started blogging, while I was still in the planning phase! But, it’s something that has played on my mind more and more over the last few months.

Why didn’t I do it in the beginning you might ask, I mean I’ve protected my husbands anonymity from the off, so why not the boys too? Honestly, it didn’t occur to me. My husband being an adult I did it without thinking. If he started blogging or similar id like him to refer to me at the wife, missus, etc and not use my name so I paid him the same courtesy.

I already followed a lot of blogs and they used their children’s real names. So I did too. As my blog grew though, I came across bloggers who used nicknames for their children. So I privately messaged them and enquired why they had taken that approach. Their answer, they wanted to protect them.

I started thinking then about the degree of anonymity I was affording to my children through my blog, twitter and my associated facebook page. Was I compromising their safety? Why wasn’t I protecting them? I’m their Mummy and it’s my duty above all other things. (I was starting to feel like a really bad Mummy by this point)

It also crossed my mind that as they got older, would they want their name on the internet next to pictures of them and stories that could be perceived a little embarrassing as they get older? Maybe they wouldn’t and, it’s not like I could expect them to make such a decision now, they simply aren’t old enough to make an informed decision. I was also now very mindful that I wouldn’t want anything on my blog etc to hamper their future friendships, schooling, job prospects, and so on. So the burden of the decision was well and truly on my shoulders!

I did lots of research about it, read lots of forums, other similar blog posts and generally scoured the internet. As it turns out, id already made a lot of very good decisions. I hadn’t published my surname, my husband’s name, where we lived etc. I started googling the boys’ names, my husband’s name and my name, to see if they appeared? They didn’t… phew! (and I went through page after page of search results and images!!) I felt very relieved at this point, I had already afforded some degree on anonymity to my children.

But, my blog was starting to really grow and my reach was expanding by the day. I knew then that a decision had to be made and soon. Do I protect them even further from this moment on, use a pseudonym and respect their right to total anonymity? The answer YES!!

So began a new chapter in my blogging and boy was there some work to be done!

But, first thing was first, I had to decide what I was going to call them? I never envisaged ever having to rename my children. But I quite liked this bit! what were my options?
… DS1 DS2? No!!
… Big Lad, Little Lad? Mmmm, I quite liked them, but no!
Then I thought, what about their little names from when I was pregnant?… Perfect!

~

So was born… Wriggler and Bruiser! 🙂

Wriggler is my eldest son. The name came about after we went for our very first scan at 12 weeks, he didn’t stop moving for the entire duration, so much so that the sonographer struggled to measure him!

Bruiser my youngest son. He was so-called because he was a very big baby. My midwife was preparing me for 9-10lb baby. I looked huge from very early on (i carried him completely on the front). At 7mths the day before he was born I looked as big as I did with Wriggler at 9mths!

You can find out more about us over on ‘a bit about me

~

Making the necessary changes to my blog has been a long painstaking process. (we are talking weeks) I have been through every post with a fine tooth comb changing names, editing pictures, making sure that every last trace of their names has gone from the entire blog. I’m glad I took this decision now and not another 6-months down the line when there would have been twice as many posts and pictures!

I also took the opportunity whilst making these changes to give my blog a spring clean and a new look. I hope that you like it.

~

The next bit, this is where you come in…

I know a lot of my current followers and obviously close family and friends that read my blog are aware of my children’s names. From this moment on though, I am respectfully asking that when you comment on posts, you do so appropriately referring to them only as Wriggler and Bruiser. Please respect my decision to afford anonymity to my children. If you do happen to come across a picture or post where their name is show, please do drop me a line to let me know so I can make the necessary changes.

Thank you so very much 🙂

~

6 thoughts on “Protecting My Children. Affording Them Their Right To Anonymity

  1. Mummy Wife Woman says:

    Any bloggers reading this post and who use their childs/childrens names, I am in no way saying it wrong or implying your are bad mums/dads etc. This was a very personal decision taken by me, for my blog, to protect my children! 🙂

    Like

  2. Joanne says:

    This is definitely something I’ve been thinking about lately. I do use my children’s names at the moment but when I overhaul the site, I’m not really going to write about the children anymore. I’ll be writing more of a vegan lifestyle blog and a lot of the old posts will be disappearing so the few where they are mentioned should be easy to change. The old blog is going to be taken down completely too. Luckily I don’t think I’ve written too much that’s embarrassing for them lol

    Like

    • Mummy Wife Woman says:

      Yeah this has taken me an age to do! Im still finding the odd pic with their names on their mugs so im making editing changes everyday still. not forgetting deleting posts from google+, facebook and twitter! glad I didnt leave it any longer than i did!
      your new blog sounds very exciting. cant wait to start following 🙂

      Like

  3. Sue mullins says:

    I am relatively new to blogging and my kids are now grown up, however, my cartoons of them as children use their names and I use my own name in my posts. This has definitely given me pause for thought!

    Like

  4. Suzanne says:

    A great decision. I went through this process about 3 months ago, even down to considering what I divulge about them. It’s tough when friends and family read and my children are getting older now too. Worth the hard work 🙂

    Like

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