The Best Things In Life Are Free…

I’m writing this with an empty heart, I’m all on my own having just spent a lovely half term week with boys. Back to reality with a bang!

Last weekend though, I had such great plans for us but as usual, it being only weeks since Christmas, finances dictated and ruled. That was okay though as the boys were quite happy to chill and take each day as it came.

We mined. Lots! I’m sure I’m not the only one whose little people are into Minecraft… *whispers* well so am I 😀  We all join the same game and work together and then fight over the only diamond sword we manage to make, Bruiser usually gets it though, he steals it from our chests while me and Wriggler are mining. It’s actually quite amusing, he waits till we are down in our mines and then you can see his gamertag move across the top of your screen as he makes his way to our house on the surface and then its a race against time to get out of our mines and up back to our houses to stop him!

The boys love spending time with their uncle, he’s really down with the boys these days, he even has Minecraft too now and had a lesson from the boys! In the morning though we all went with him and Zeus the family dog to the woods. It was nice to blow away the cobwebs out in the sticks, quite literally! It was good for the boys too to challenge themselves on the near vertical muddly slippy hills that took no prisoners. We made it all in one piece though even if it was with mud up to our ear lobes!

We lost hours in ‘their world’ the lego, ninja, space, make-believe pirate adventures that are something else let me tell you. Everything gets mingled together. Wriggler has quite the imagination, Bruiser goes with the flow. The remnants of those escapades are still littered around the house which makes me realise I really should start tidying up, ha! Maybe tomorrow 😉

The boys spent some quality time with their Daddy over the weekend too while I escaped with a lovely friend; lunching, hand bag shopping and cinema going (yes I have a social life!). He took them on a bike ride up the Trans Pennine Trail. They love it down there.

the best things in life are free

In between all that, we’ve partied, we’ve visited Great Nan, a much-loved Aunt, the boys delivered their valentines gifts, cuddled, crafted, giggled and generally had lots of family fun.

At the end of any time together we always ask the boys what they’ve enjoyed the most. Sunday night while having cartoons and a cuddle before bed we asked them what their favourite bit of the week was. Bruiser enjoyed the bike ride most. Wriggler gave us his top three; no.3 the walk in the woods, no.2 the bike ride down the TPT and no.1 spending time together!!

It brought tears to our eyes. There was me feeling guilty that we hadn’t done much, or gone very far but the reality is; it’s not about what you spend on them, it’s about the time you spend with them that means the most.

Five weeks and counting to our next school holidays…..

 

Its All About The Teeth

It’s been a long time coming. Quite honestly I never thought we’d get here. Since he was about eight months old Bruiser has been going to the dentist, twice yearly in fact for his checkups. Despite all the visits, the dentist has never seen his teeth…. until now!

There was no promises or bribery, there was no ‘do you want to sit in the chair Bruiser?’ It was all his own doing, all his own choice and he did it all by himself.

I don’t think there is much else I can say, the picture does all the talking…

dentist

A Letter To Bruiser

Dear Bruiser

Today is your first day at school. Your Reception year and full-time school. You looked so smart and grown up in your uniform this morning. You were buzzing with excitement and you couldn’t wait to leave the house. I couldn’t even get a picture of you stood still.

While you enjoy your first morning with your new teacher, im home thinking about you, wondering what you will doing, wondering what you will be learning about. Gone are our days together where we would play, cuddle, watch cartoons, have playdates, take afternoon naps. Gone are our days filled with giggles, trips to the park and baby groups.

Me and Daddy and Wriggler are soooooo incredibly proud of you and what you have achieved in your little life already. The obstacles you have over come. The battles you have fought. Because there was once a time when we never thought this day would come. You were only 5 hours old when the Doctors told us to let you go. But we weren’t ready to let you have wings and I don’t think you wanted them either. We fought for you then and we still fight for you today. Its been the fight of our lives but just look at you now….

You learnt to crawl;

crawling

You learnt to walk;

You learnt to wave;

You learnt to talk, your first word was ‘Mam mam’. It was awful when you stopped talking. Overtime though you learnt to communicate using Makaton and that gave you a voice, until you found your voice…

Ryan signing to bath

Bruiser signing to bath

then, you learnt to talk, AGAIN!! Because you really are that amazing!!

You started nursery;

started nursery

With the help from your amazing big brother Wriggler, you learnt to play and imagine;

play

You learnt to ride a bike;

As we made our journey together through the autism diagnosis process, something that we were beginning to think would never happen, you made a friend. A best friend. A partner in crime. A friend forever. Your ‘Avaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’

best friends

~

And here you are now on your first day at school…

I’m glad you didn’t cry this morning. You made it so much easier for me. But it broke my heart anyway. It was the start of a whole new chapter in your life. You are no longer a baby, a toddler, or even a preschooler. You’re a little boy now and you’re ready to go find your place in this world!

I’m going to miss you my baby.

Love Mummy xxxxxxxxxxxx

All In A Wee…ks Work

Toilet training isn’t easy for any child or their parents. Most children take it in their stride though and slowly but surely they get there. Toilet training a child with special needs and sensory issues that is more than likely on the ASD spectrum is a whole different ball game and a challenge we were not prepared for.

When Wriggler did his first wee on a potty he was 2yrs and 9mths. Before we knew it, he was dry day and night within two weeks without any accidents. We took exactly the same approach with Bruiser, he will do it when HE is good and ready and not before!

Last year in the lead up to the summer holidays though, I was starting to feel the pressure; from school and other people. ‘Oh he really should be out of nappies when he starts school’ ‘You arent being pro-active enough’ ‘just go for it, he’ll never learn unless you go for it’ ‘let him wet himself, they don’t like wetting themselves’ blah.. blah.. blah..

But after a while (regrettably) I started to take this to heart and so against my principles of ‘he will do when he’s ready’, I attempted to start him toileting.

He really wasnt ready though. Yes he did his first wee on the potty and the toilet and this was quite a novelty for him (and me, I still love the picture of his cheeky little bottom peeking out of his trousers as he stood up to the toilet). But he wasnt ready in his head to do it. I tried jumping him in at the deep end and taking him to school in pants with loads of clothes to change into etc (like people told me to do). He really didn’t like getting wet when he had an accident, this was a big issue. Being wet is a sensory issue for Bruiser generally, he wont even touch the sink in the bathroom if there are water droplets on it, he has to wear gloves when it rains. All this added pressure was making him anxious and upset and very unhappy. He was starting to show signs of regression across the board, so I stopped it all. We went back to pull ups. No more pressure. He was happy again. That was it, no more listening to everyone else, we (hubby and myself) know our child best and we went back to our principles of letting him do it in his own time when he was ready!

Since we tried the toileting last year though, Bruiser has very occasionally used the potty or the toilet. More so when he was with Wriggler as he wanted to copy him but he had a lot of accidents. Then very out of the blue two weeks ago he was playing away in the kitchen and he started to do a wee but stopped himself. He then waddled up to the toilet with his trousers and pull ups around his ankles and finished his wee on the toilet. He was so proud of himself and I gave him a big high-five and LOTS of praise. I do believe now that that was the turning point. That was where it clicked. He continued to use the toilet/potty lots during the days that followed and occasionally even wore big boy pants.

After a few days of on/off success, last Monday I asked him if he wanted to wear big boy pants for school, there was no pressure, it was his call. He said yes. Off he went that morning with three changes of clothes in his bag. He came back with the same clothes in his bag and the same little pants on his bottom! He had achieved his first half day dry. It got even better that afternoon and evening. He had completed his first full day. No accidents or near misses. Another first 🙂

Tuesday morning he went to school just the same. He showed me the sticker chart on the wall that his key worker had made with him Monday. He proudly showed me the stickers he had earned the day previously.

He started to fetch his chart home with him after each morning to show me and his Daddy and Wriggler what he had done. He was very proud of himself and kept saying ‘me like Wriggler now’.

Tuesday afternoon he asked for a nappy though. *whispers… he wanted a no2* He was refusing to let it go in the potty or toilet. This wasnt unusual, he refused to let them go anyway. Passing his no2’s has always been an issue for Bruiser. He would hold to them, tensing himself up walking around doing his ‘poo dance’ as we called it, refusing to letit go. For almost a year we thought he was constipated but as it turned out (for reasons made clear by his OT only very recently) he was refusing to let go and was intentionally holding it in. It was one hell of an afternoon which resulted in a meltdown so bad that he fell asleep on me while I restrained him. Once that was over though, he was back in his pants and back on the toileting mission. I made a huge deal that he had done his no2 in his nappy though and gave him an extra star stamp for it.

all in a wee...ks work

The week continued to go great. He was still dry and still hadn’t had any accidents. Thursday afternoon I was washing pots in the kitchen when I heard Bruiser shout from upstairs (I thought he was in the room watching Octonauts!!) ‘Mumeee I done a big pooooooooooo on my potteeeeeeee’. I ran up the stairs saying you’ve done what? and he was there proudly stood over the potty pointing at it and signing that he had done it!! After lots and lots of praise and high-fives, I put him an extra two star stamps on his chart. Another first, his second of the week! He was making more progress than I ever imagined or dare hope for.

On Friday, Bruiser was awarded Star of the Week for his efforts and his increased independence at school.

all in a wee...ks work

He was over the moon with himself and more so, because he got to fetch Freddie home for the weekend. (Freddie is an empathy doll which accompanies every ‘star of the week’ home for the weekend)

By Sunday evening he had completed his first full week. He had one small accident when he couldn’t get his trousers down quick enough and although he was upset with himself he did get over it really well.

This was it, there was no going back now. He’d made it. He had accomplished more than what we set out for him to do. He was dry and clean through the day, he was dry and clean through the night and he had willingly without any hesitation done his no2’s in the potty too!

He had a wonderful weekend celebrating his efforts with Freddie and even Freddie is now toilet trained 😉

all in a wee...ks work

~

This week is currently going fantastic too. He has carried on exactly where last week finished.

We as a family are so proud of Bruiser and what he has accomplished. It hasn’t been easy for him and it really has been baby steps all the way but when he was ready, boy was he ready and he did it in probably record time!

Around the Tree, Around the Tree, Makes Number 3!

Bruiser LOVES his numbers. He is obsessed with numbers. From a very early age he could count from 1 to 10. He’s literally only just four but, he can count past 100. He knows his 10 times table. He can do simple math like 1+2, 3+2 etc. Using numbers is a sure way to get his instant attention and keep his attention. Mentioning numbers can even halt a meltdown mid-scream!!

Writing numbers however, is a whole new ball game. He has only recently started making meaningful marks with a pen and paper. A few weeks back though he took me surprise when we were playing with a chalk and attempting to write his letters which he has been learning at school. Trying to make a S, he made a mark that resembled a 3 which prompted him to want to do his numbers. Now we have practiced writing his number lots of times but he’s never really got it quite right and always got very frustrated with himself.

I’m going to let this video that I was lucky enough to capture do the rest of the talking.

ps. check out Bruisers talking too!! 😀 *does victory dance*

It just goes to show that time and patience while taking those small steps leads to amazing achievements and this is one of them.

~

Ethans Escapades

The Impossible Hug

Have you seen the wonderful video Bliss have produced to mark World Prematurity Day? 

It’s such a simple video but yet it speaks a thousand words, stirs up a million emotions and pulls on every heart string. You see, for the 15 million babies born prematurely across the whole world each year, this is the heart ache experienced by those parents. They cant hug their babies for days, weeks, some even months! Can you even begin to imagine how that feels?

Hugs are something that we all take for granted, especially those first hugs with our new-born babies.

I remember when Wriggler was born, he was placed onto me straight away, I got immediate skin to skin contact, he was cleaned and swaddled and given straight back to me to hold and cuddle. I didn’t want to let him go for even a second.

When Bruiser was born however, it couldn’t have been anymore different. He was delivered very early at 31 weeks and it was an emergency c-section. I didn’t even get to see him, never mind hug him. He was so poorly that he was whisked away to the NICU where the doctors spent the next 48 hours trying to stabilise him. When I did eventually get to see him something like half a day later, I wasnt even allowed to touch him. All I could do was sit next to his incubator and talk to him and look at him… that first hug felt like it was a life time away.

During the days that followed his birth, I got some contact. I got to hold his tiny fingers and tiny toes. I got to put my hand on his head. But because he was ventilated, I wasn’t able to do much more than that. I couldn’t even do his cares because his skin was so very fragile and sensitive. The nurses were great though and they showed me how to touch him and how to comfort him without causing him any pain through two hand-sized holes of the incubator that surrounded him.

(facebook status 29.Jan.2010 3.am)

“I’ve just shared a magical moment with Bruiser. I can’t cuddle you or hold you close to me, but I can scoop you up in both hands while the nurse changes your cot sheet cos you wee’d on it while mummy changed your 2nd poopy nappy of the night!”

I‘ll never forget the day I got my hug though. Bruiser was 5 days old. The day preceding it he had been taken off the ventilator and was now breathing on cpap. He had also done his first wee (this was HUGE, it meant his internal organs which were in failure were now showing signs of functioning) and he had his first taste of my liquid gold through a tube into his tummy (which made him do his first poopy nappy that night). I went into the NICU that day to do Bruisers morning cares (clean his face, eyes and mouth, change his nappy). His nurse that day had a little more in store for me…

1st mummy cuddles

My 1st Hug

In that moment my life was perfect. The previous 5 days seemed but a blur. Bruiser still had a long way to go but, it made me realise that the impossible is possible, you just have to believe!

You can get involved in Bliss’s Impossible Hug campaign for World Prematurity Day by sharing a photo of you, your friends and family and little ones giving a hug on their Facebook, twitter and Pinterest, or email your photos to mediateam@bliss.org.uk and they’ll share them on their special World Prematurity Day Flickr page.

Do it for all the families across the whole world that can’t share a hug with their babies.

I Wee’d On A Stick & My Life Changed Forever

It started with a wee

It started with a wee

Today marks the eight year anniversary of when I found out that I was expecting my little Wriggler and yet it still feels like it was only yesterday!

Finding out was a MASSIVE shock! So much so that I lived in denial that it was even happening at all for 3 weeks after missing my period. It was my rapidly blooming bussom that made me do a test and make an appointment with the midwife! Taking that test was nerve-wracking, I was shaking uncontrollably. I knew what it was going to say and I’d never been so scared in my life. Both myself and Hubby were both in silent shock for days after. All of a sudden our planned future was no longer written and we were making it up as we went along!

It was easy to remember my dates, the pregnancy dated from my 26th birthday. I worked out that our baby would be due on the 4th June!

Once the initial shock had gone, I was over the moon and bursting at the seams to tell everyone. My Mum was the first to know and then we told our immediate family but that was it, no one else until we’d had the 12week scan and knew all was well.

The day of the first scan came around very quickly. By this point though all pregnancy symptoms had gone and I was beginning to think that the sonographer was going to tell me there wasnt a baby in there! But my baby was there alright, all 5.8cm of him and he didnt stop wriggling through the whole scan, the sonographer struggled to measure him! My dates changed slightly and my new EDD was the 2nd June.

I wee'd on a stick

Wriggler at 12+2… all 5.8cm of him!

I was sporting a very slight bump at the first scan, but after this point it just took off. I carried my baby all on the front. In the run up to the 20 week scan I was convinced that I was carrying a boy. I think in part it was the fact that I wanted a boy so very much, I’d convinced myself that my baby couldn’t be anything else.

The 20 week scan went fine though and all was well. However, I went into the room not wanting to know what we were having wanting the surprise on the day when our baby arrived. Hubby did want to know but had agreed that we wouldn’t find out. During the scan though, looking at our baby on the little screen, I suddenly had this overwhelming urge to find out and given that it was Hubby’s birthday that day, I knew it would be a lovely surprise for him too. It was confirmed, Wriggler was a boy!

I wee'd on a stick

Wriggler, my baby Boy at 20 weeks

My bump was getting bigger and bigger every day now. Every morning Hubby would say ‘oh my god, youre even bigger than last night!!’ Regrettably I didn’t capture the bump shots like i did with Bruiser. It didn’t occur to me to do it, that and we didn’t have a camera and camera phones were only just emerging back then! I did capture a bump shot at 30 weeks though (with my new camera phone). Any other bump pictures were courtesy of Hubby.

30 week Bump

30 week Bump

I wee'd on a stick

Bump at approximately 8 months

Bump at 38+4, the day before he was born (you can see the tens machine in my hand)

Bump at 38+4, taken while in labour, the day before he was born (that’s the tens machine in my left hand ha, id been in labour 28hours at this point)

After the 2nd scan though, I wanted to much to see my baby again. I knew that I just couldnt wait another 20weeks to meet him. Id read about 3/4D scans and seen pictures but never thought I’d be able to afford one. After a little research though I found a place very local to us that did them and they were affordable. I secretly booked an appointment for one and saved some money up, my Mum made up the rest.

It was the best decision I made because the whole experience was AMAZING! That moment when our little boys face appeared on the huge screen on the wall was so emotional. He had a little button nose and was sucking on the umbilical cord with his face nustled upto the placenta. He was fast asleep. The sonographer decided to wake him up so we could get a better look at him, he didn’t like this much at all. But he did become more animated and opened his eyes. He soon settled again though and went back to sleep exactly as we found him!

Wriggler yawning

Meet Wriggler at 29 weeks

Wriggler opened his eyes during the scan

Wriggler asleep

Wriggler didn’t change one bit from this scan at 29weeks and birth!

1 Day Old

1 Day Old

~

So there you have it, neither of my boys were planned. But you know what, I just think it makes them all the more special because they were meant to be!

Linking up with Magic Moments

Star Of The Week

We are only three and a half weeks into the new school year. I’ve mentioned before that Bruiser has started pre-school. It’s not been plain sailing for him, whilst he was initially excited about starting school and his first week went really well all things considered, the novelty has well and truly gone now. The reality that he has to go every day has not been a happy thought for him. Every morning he’s said ‘me day ome mumee’. He’s struggled to part from me in a morning, he’s cried, he’s screamed, he’s been angry and he’s even refused to get dressed or walk to school some mornings. That said, he has still enjoyed himself once he was there and the separation was over.

I have to admit though that biggest thing that concerned me about him starting pre-school was communication. Bruiser doesn’t communicate when he doesn’t feel confident in his surroundings or when around strangers and for him all those new children and the staff were strangers to him. He’d briefly seen the staff before the summer during his transition process but that was a while ago for Bruiser. By the end of his first week though his teacher reported that he was doing great, he was signing lots with the staff. It was a great relief to hear that, he was feeling confident enough to sign, so that was a great start. Bruiser was happy which means Mummy was happy!

Each week that has passed i’ve had great reports of him signing, he’s even showed them the colour signs of red, orange, yellow and brown to incorporate into their Harvest Festival songs. His teacher has also reported that hes been doing some great talking too! This is Huge for Bruiser. His talking has exploded over recent weeks, more so since the start of the summer holidays. But, I didn’t expect him to be talking so much in school just yet though. He never ceases to amaze me.

This week, Bruiser was awarded Star of the Day and Week for using… LOTS of words and doing LOTS of TALKING!!! He came out of his class beaming from ear to ear proudly holding his certificate and Freddie. (Freddie is a doll that the children get to bring home when they are ‘star of the day or week’, he comes with clothes to dress him and a diary for us to write a short paragraph of what they’ve been doing together.)

Everyone has always commented about Bruiser’s signing, how much he knows, how good he is etc but, now he’s getting recognition for his talking! Slowly and surely he’s getting there. I could not be more proud of him.

star of the day

They say a picture can speak a thousand words…. this is one of them!

~

I Have Letters After My Name

You can do all the studying in the world to become a lawyer, a doctor, a surgeon etc and those qualifications will give you endless letters after your name and make you look so very important but none, none of them come close to the letters I have been bestowed with by amazing little boy Wriggler.

You see, im a BMF. For those of you not familiar with BMF, it stands for Best Mummy Forever.

On my birthday a fortnight ago whilst on holiday, Wriggler gave me the most beautiful card he had made himself. It was from him and Bruiser. I’ve always loved his handmade cards and gifts but this one sits amongst the best, It melted my heart.

i have letters after my name

~

I’m linking up this post today with #MagicMoments because it really was a magic moment to be given something so wonderful and precious. It meant the world to me. I really do have the best job in the world.

I Live In Hope

Communication and social interaction is something that comes naturally to most children and adults alike and something that we all take for granted. For Bruiser this is something of a challenge.

Bruiser currently attends a nursery setting at our local children’s centre. With the help of his inclusion worker and his key person in nursery, together using Makaton, they’ve managed to get him interacting with the other children and he has role played along side them and they pretended that there was a fire and they were the firemen and they put the fire out. This for Bruiser is HUGE! I’m actually gutted that I wasnt able to witness this interaction for myself because outside of the nursery setting, his brother aside he doesn’t interact much if at all with other children.

At the weekend though, we went to a close friends birthday party at a local farm. These situations Bruiser can find quite difficult and he usually toddles around on his own doing his own thing. This party was different though as group participation and interaction with other children couldn’t be avoided.

I was incredibly proud how he coped with it and although at points he was on the brink of a meltdown, between me and his Daddy we managed to avoid it happening at all.

The icing on the cake for me though was watching him eat (yes eat!!) ‘some’ of the party food at the table with the other children and then completely out of the blue he turned to the little girl sat next to him and said “my mumeee dare” and pointed at me.

I welled up instantly. It was monumental. Id seen it for myself that he was capable of interaction like that and the best bit was that he did it off his own back, no support or help from anyone was involved. It was spontaneous.

(im crying typing this)

~

This for Bruiser was one teeny tiny step but it was a monumental achievement and im so incredibly proud of him.

I Live In Hope

~

Ethans Escapades

 

Gummy to Gappy

The Last Gummy Smile

The Last Gummy Smile

Ahhhh, that gummy smile… I remember it all too well. That picture was indeed the last one we got, within days of the picture being taken his first tooth emerged! Before we knew it he had a mouth full of teeth and he was a grown lad telling me ‘Mummy, ive got a wobbly tooth!’  *Nooooooo*

The Last Toothy Smile

The Last Toothy Smile

Eight and a half weeks after that first wobble, he lost his first tooth. My baby really was growing up.

gummy smile to gappy smile

Id only just got my head round the fact that Wriggler had lost his first tooth and then another fell out only 2 weeks later! This was happening too quick!

gummy smile to gappy smile

It wasnt all bad though, his new sparkling teeth grew in their place and all was good again. It was like they’d never fallen out.

Fast forward 9 months… ‘Mummy ive got a wobbly tooth’ *Here we go again* ‘Mummy ive got two wobbly teeth’ *Gulp, what? at the same time? this could get expensive!*

Loosing the top teeth was probably worse than the bottom ones. They were on show, a constant reminder of the lack of control I had over him growing up. When those top teeth were loose we nick named him ‘tow mater’ because he’d got that look about him. His teeth were pointing all different directions.

… and then they were both gone 😦

gummy to gappy

My baby loosing his teeth hasn’t been all bad, I mean I got to play ‘Toothfairy’ 🙂 Creeping into his room in the middle of the night and sneaking that tooth out from under his pillow and leaving a gold coin in return covered in fairy dust. I remember the magic from when I was a little girl, doing it for Wriggler it’s all the more magical!

To the Tooth Fairy

To the Tooth Fairy

A little bit of Magic

A little bit of Magic

~

Wriggler loosing his first few teeth has been the end of one era and the start of a new one. He’s well and truly leaving his baby years behind him now and growing up. Whilst for me, I found these moments tearful and ever so slightly heart wrenching, they were truly #magicmoments to have shared with him.

Im Going To Be A Mummy Again

where it all began

Okay so that was a little white lie 🙂 I’m not really!

But, 4 years ago today I discovered that I was going  to be! Today is the anniversary of when I discovered I was expecting Bruiser!

It came as a HUGE shock! We definitely was not planning another, far from it! I was on the pill and had an appointment to have the implant! But I’d always wanted another baby, I was longing for one if the truth be told. I’d recently discovered only 2 week before that I was going to be an Auntie again and while I was over the moon for my sister and brother-in-law, I was also insanely jealous… Unbeknown to me though, I was actually pregnant myself!

I believed myself to be 4 weeks pregnant and after calculating my due date had an EDD of 10th March.

The 12 week scan told a different story, I was 9week & 6days and my little Bruiser was tiny 3.5cm big! Our new EDD was the 26th March

1st Scan

Twelve weeks later it was time for the 2nd scan. I was getting quite big now too! I was already convinced that I was expecting another little boy because just like my first, he was all on the front!

20week bump

20week Bump

This is when I found out Bruiser was indeed another little boy!

2nd scan

Normally this is the last time you get to meet your little one until the birth. However, we had already planned to have another scan, a 4D scan. We had done the same with Wriggler and loved every minute of it so there was no question that we wouldn’t do it again!

This was also around the time that Bruiser ‘got his name’! I was feeling and looking full term at this point but I was only 27weeks. My midwife was telling me to expect a 9 to 10lb baby! Eeeek!

27 week bump

27week Bump

4D scan

Meet Bruiser at 27weeks

Im sure he's smiling in this one!

Im sure he’s smiling in this one!

(The likeness of Bruiser’s little face in this scan picture with this picture of Bruiser’s 1st proper smile at 6 weeks old is unmistakable)

1st proper smile

~

Finding out I was pregnant with Bruiser was an A M A Z I N G #magicmoment. One of the Ultimates!

That First Precious Cuddle

Nine long months we carry our babies. Some of us not even that long! But, all the time we are longing for that 1st cuddle.

Out of all the books you read, all the advice you receive, all the stories others tell you about their birth experiences, none of them prepare you for that moment. The rush of love that flows through your body the moment your baby is placed in your arms is overwhelming and out of this world. Absolutely NOTHING beats or even comes close to that very first cuddle with your new-born baby. The ultimate #magicmoment in my opinion!

~

When Wriggler was born he was placed on my tummy and chest immediately after delivery for instant skin to skin while my Hubby cut the umbilical cord before he was swaddled up and placed in my arms.

My 1st cuddle with Wriggler, he was minutes old.

My 1st cuddle with Wriggler, he was minutes old.

~

With Bruiser, my first cuddle didn’t happen at birth as he was whisked off to the NICU (which was heart breaking). What do they say?? The best things come to those who wait?! Boy did I have to wait. But you know what that didnt take away any of those feelings. It made it all the more special!

My first cuddle with Bruiser, he was 6days old!

My first cuddle with Bruiser, he was 6-days old!

~

I’ll never forget those 1st cuddles for as long as I live. If I close my eyes, I can still feel them!

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All Tied Up

This weekend with the boys has been full of magic moments and I was beginning to struggle what I was going to pick for my #magicmoment monday post. But yesterday afternoon decided it for me.

We went to get Wriggler some new shoes. Wriggler saw some trainers on the shelf and was immediately drawn to them. They had laces though and because he’s always had velcro ones, has never needed to know how to fasten laces.

He tried them on and they fitted perfectly. But with one afternoon to teach him how to fasten laces before school the next day was it going to be enough time??

It tuned out, it was more than enough time. It took him 20 minutes!! #GoWriggler!

Once he completed it once that was it, he practiced again;

magic monday

and again;

magic monday

and again… right through to bed time!

magic monday

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Sharing this #magicmoment with Wriggler made me remember the first time I my tied laces. I remember it so well. I was with my Daddy and we were laid on the front garden in the sun and I tied a ribbon round the neck of one of my teddys.

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and… Breathe

Wednesday 27th January 2010

My 4 day old baby was on the NICU having been removed at 31wks into my pregnancy due to suffering a massive fetomaternal haemorrhage. For 3 days we had watched and waited and prayed for him to make it through each precious minute, each hour, each day. He was heavily sedated and on a ventilator.

and breathe

We hadn’t cuddled him yet. We weren’t even allowed to touch him as we were advised it was causing him pain. Although he was over the worst, we knew he wasnt out of the woods yet. Every day was a milestone.

and breathe

I was still recovering from the c-section. Because I was so determined to spend as much of my time on the NICU with my little Bruiser, I was refraining from taking a lot of my pain relief as it was knocking me out. Every step hurt to take. But, it didn’t matter. Every 3 hours day and night I expressed my liquid gold in the hope that Bruiser would eventually get the benefit of it. Every 4 hours day and night I made sure I was there for his ‘cares’ to be done. The rest of the time I just sat with him looking at him, watching him, talking to him.

Just like the previous two mornings, I had woke up from a very restless, painful nights sleep and I needed to attach the breast pump for my 3-hourly express. This particular morning was different though… only I didn’t know it yet!

I made myself a cuppa before sitting down to express while I watched GMTV and caught up on texts, emails and facebook messages from family and friends offering their love and support. I called it my social media morning hug.

When id finished expressing, I got cleaned up and had some breakfast. I then made my way onto the NICU to store my milk in the freezer. I then went to go into the ICU as I always did every time id expressed, even in the middle of the night. Unfortunately I couldn’t go into the room as the Doctors were doing their rounds. One of the nurses told me to give it an hour and I should be able to see Bruiser then.

While I waited in my room, Hubby arrived for the day. Eventually a nurse came through and told we could go through to see Bruiser.

We cleaned our hands, then walked into the NICU and went straight up to Bruiser’s incubator and said ‘good morning sweetheart’.

He looked different this morning and it took a moment for us both to register what it was… Our brave little soldier had been taken of his ventilator during the night. He was now breathing on CPAP.

and breathe

This day turned into a Triple Whammy of Milestones for Bruiser… He came off the Ventilator. He did his first wee. He had some of my liquid gold!

#magicmoments

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Wrigglers Special Mention

This is my first time linking up so a big Hello.

My 1st Magic Moment is about my son Wriggler. Last week he got a ‘special mention’ in his schools Celebrations Assembly for some fantastic work he had done in class that week.  Wriggler is a born creator and loves all things art and crafty so, designing a hotel as part of their ‘holidays and around the world’ topic was right up his street. He did a wonderful job.

 They invite parents to watch their little ones collect their Head Teachers Award 🙂

I very proudly watched from the back of the hall

#proudmummy #magicmoment

magic moments

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